...? pt.2

Hello, once again everybody.

I know I haven't been keeping my word about staying on this blog. I've been on and off and lately I've been more off than I have been on. And for those who keep tabs on this blog, first off, wow, thank you for choosing to stay, and secondly, I apologize for having this on such a long pause. But I have come back, and it may be for a while, or this may be the last post I write, but whichever, I'm here to write again.

I'm not sure exactly what this post should be about, but I'll let the current take me for this one.

I have been struggling for some time in the way I'm living my life. I have to say, there is a great difference between last year and this year. So many things have changed, and I especially feel like I've changed.

I want to realize and come to the truth that my life has been going downhill, in terms of my academics and social life and just my well being in general. Why? I don't really know. I've lost motivation in what I want in life, and I have no ambition going for me. I have quit some of my extracurricular activities, and my grades are falling and I've been at home just doing plain nothing most of the time. And I repeat myself. Why?

There was someone who used to be in my life, who I let in my life, who was very special to me. And we did learn to know one another in a matter of a few months. Only a few months. And then, we became strangers. And it still makes me wonder, what exactly happened. And was this the reason why my life turned around?

I don't want to blame this person. I think it, but I could never. If anyone is to blame, it's me.

Do you know the saying, "it's never too late"? I do not believe that that is true. Time passes by too fast and the next thing you know, the time to do what you needed to do is gone.

I guess, what this post was mainly concentrated on is that... you should know to prioritize certain things in your life, so you have enough time to do things you need to do before it's too late. Because it will be too late. And what should be your number one priority, is yourself.

This is what I have for you all, and please take care. Until next time.

Keep Smiling
M-L

...

...Hello...it's me.

So... it has been quite a while, hasn't it? It's been five months, give or take a few days, since I have been on this blog. I'm getting a lot of mixed emotions right now. Bittersweet. And, coming back here after so long... where do I even start.

School has been rough- ROUGH- for me this year. There has been a big transition for me, and it's been really difficult to find the time to do the things I love, like write, read, play piano, start new hobbies, even cleaning my room finds a tiny spot in my schedule, aha. But I have a four day long weekend coming up, so I decided to come back here, and write a little update on my life. My oh-so busy life that I can't find time to write up a post.

But now I'm thinking, "Okay, but what do I write about?".

I want to write about something that I have realized. A revelation. Personal? Maybe so. But anyways heheh.....

I have noticed, that as a high school student, I have a lot of freedom. At least, I have a lot more freedom than before. You feel more independent as a person. You get around on your own, you're more responsible for your work, your teachers won't chase you for not completing your homework. During lunch, you can go out to eat (I have a strip mall, McDonald's, Subway, and a bubbletea café close to my school, yes) and after school you can decide to stay to study in your school's library, or your local public library.

BUT. For me, it can be a little different, and tricky. I do know that I have gained freedom, but to be honest, it's less than I would like to have. I wish I could go out more, rather than spend most of the time in my room. I would like to go out, until the sun sets and I don't have to worry about stressing over anything. And then, I realize that I have to earn it.

See, I'm still quite young. And even though people my age hang out with their friends until way past their bedtime, I still have to ask my folks for an extra hour. But it's always different for families. With my family, I have to earn my right to go out and enjoy myself with my friends. Earning this would mean like finishing my homework and get good marks, cleaning my room and house and whatnot.

In all, what I've been trying to say is, is that when it comes to something you really want, you should want to do whatever it takes to get it. For me, it would mean to gain more freedom by being more responsible in my life.

This post was very uh, "stream of consciousness"-y. But, take whatever you want from this post and what I think wanting your desires mean.

After all this, I hope you all have enjoyed this read after five months. I want to try to write more often, but with life, we never know when the next is going to be. But, I will be back.

Keep Smiling,
M-L